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Newly minted London Mayor Boris Johnson's first brilliant policy decision? Banning the consumption of alcohol on London's Tube system. Trouble is, just about everyone besides Boris seems to understand that getting between an Englishman and his beloved pint is a pretty bad idea. A spokesman for the Tube employees' union said transport staff will have no way to enforce such a ban, nor much interest in risking their personal safety to do so:

Perhaps the mayor will come out with his underpants on over his trousers like Superman one Saturday to show us how it should be done, and maybe tell a crowd of Liverpool supporters that they can’t drink on the train.”

After Boris The Blonde made the announcement, British Transport Commissioner Peter Hendy rushed to assure passengers that the ban would only apply to London proper and those traveling longer distances wouldn't be subject to the measure. “We have no plans to introduce these measures on the national network," he said.

Johnson has himself been known to enjoy a pint -- occasionally more than one. He gave up booze in the final weeks of his mayoral campaign in what appeared to be a strategy to avoid embarrassing gaffes (others suggested it was a sign that he has a drinking problem). Of course, consuming large volumes of alcohol have never precluded British politicians from being good leaders. Winston Churchill was a notorious drinker, and 19th century prime minister William Pitt, the Younger was known to take down two or three bottles of port a day. If he enjoys his job, Boris might do better by heeding their example.

In what his spokesman swears is not a jab at Beijing but a way of saving taxpayer money, Gordon Brown announced today that he'll skip the August 8 Olympics opening ceremony, opting to attend the closing ceremony instead. Perhaps those loud protests in London had some effect? And I'd put money on a similar announcement from Sarkozy any day now.

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People are literally stealing the roofs off of churches in Britain, the New York Times reports today. Some call it "the most concerted assault on churches since the Reformation." But it's not religious zealotry that's driving the vandals, it's simple economics.

Rising resource demand from China and India coupled with supply disruptions from Australia (the holy trinity of skyrocketing prices) have caused lead prices to jump sevenfold in the past six years. Before 2005, instances of roof theft were few and far between. But last year, one church insurance company reported $18 million in claims, mostly from cases of disappearing lead.  Historical preservation laws mandate the use of original building materials, hence the metal installation and replacement in the event of theft. John Deave, a retired churchwarden, is feeling the pressure:

Whenever I get an early morning phone call these days, I think, 'Oh no, they’ve taken the roof again.'"

Institutions are mulling tough love tactics to prevent further vandalism including barbed wire, roof lights, and slippery drain pipe paint, but mere fences can't stop the forces of supply and demand. This highlights a broader trend in which the West feels a pinch from inflation and commodity price hikes in the developing world. The free ride is ending, folks.

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Screens display flight information at Terminal 5 on March 28, 2008, at Heathrow International Airport in London. Further delays are expected today on the second day of the new terminal opening. Thirty departures have been cancelled so far as problems still remain with baggage handling.

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The British press has been flooding the zone in covering French President Nicolas Sarkozy's visit to London this week. But of course, it's not Sarko's promises to beef up the French troop presence in Afghanistan or his calls for Britain to be more active in the European Union that have dominated the headlines. Nope. It's the every move of Sarkozy's Italian-born wife, Carla Bruni, whose supermodel looks have brought the latent prurient impulses of British journalists to the fore.

The tone for the coverage was set early when, the day before France's first couple's visit, Christie's announced it was putting nude photos of Ms. Bruni up for auction. The tabloid Daily Mail and even the ostensibly more respectable Telegraph wasted no time in serving the public interest by publishing one of the photos (find them yourself, folks). The Daily Mail even published closeups of Bruni's legs, hands, and feet and dubbed Bruni a "fully fledged sex siren."

But to really get a sense of how the British have gone ga-ga for Carla, get a load of this sentence in the Telegraph about the Sarkozys' dinner at Windsor Castle:

By that stage, the newlywed presidential couple had already disappeared, according to Mr Roche, no doubt to make the most of their bedroom with a "matchless view over the park".

Or this secondhand report about Mme Sarkozy's appearance at a charity luncheon:

We have it on good authority Miss Bruni has an "incredibly sexy" voice..."

Of course, the occasion would not be complete without indulging in one of the Telegraph's favorite pastimes -- mocking Prime Minister Gordon Brown:

The Prime Minister, not known for public displays of affection, lunged at the glamorous former supermodel as she and husband Nicolas Sarkozy visited Downing Street on the second day of their state visit to Britain.

The Sun adds helpfully, "Mr Brown planted TWO enthusiastic smackers on her."

Maybe it's just me. But doesn't this gesture by French President Nicolas Sarkozy seem a bit gauche, given that he was at a ceremony for laying a wreath in honor of Charles DeGaulle?

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Now that I've revealed myself to be the sworn enemy of British royalty, here's a selection of zingers attributed to Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh and the husband of Queen Elizabeth II:

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To a driving instructor in Scotland: "How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?"

To a Nigerian diplomat in traditional Nigerian garb: "You look as if you’re ready for bed."

On seeing a fuse box filled with wires, during a visit to an electronics company: "This looks like it was put in by an Indian."

To members of the British Deaf Association, while pointing to a loudspeaker playing Caribbean music: "No wonder you are deaf."

To a tourist, during a state visit to Hungary: "You can't have been here long, you've not potbelly."

Speaking to British students studying in China: "If you stay here much longer, you'll all be slitty-eyed."

On the "key problem" facing Brazil: "Brazilians live there."

Via Neatorama.

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The Australian magazine that was the first to publish the news that Britain's Prince Harry was fighting in Afghanistan has issued this oddly late apology:

We regret this serious lapse of judgment. We sincerely apologise to all our readers, to the servicemen whose lives are at constant risk while serving at home and abroad, and to their families and loved ones."

Here's a better idea: How about the British "royal" family abandon its ludicrous, anachronistic position and stop living off the largesse of British taxpayers? Then the press wouldn't have such dilemmas to worry about, and Harry would be free to fight wherever and whomever he wants. And his father, Prince Charles, wouldn't have to pretend that his Caribbean vacation is really a humanitarian mission.

Former British prime minister wait-listed, encouraged to reapply next year:

Yale University is pleased to announce the appointment of Prime Minister Tony Blair as the Howland Distinguished Fellow for the next academic year. Mr. Blair will lead a seminar at Yale and participate in a number of events around the campus. The course in which he will participate with Yale faculty will examine issues of faith and globalization."

UPDATE: On a serious note, check out Passport contributor James Forsyth's comments on why giving Blair a sinecure at a U.S. university would be bad for America.

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Back in October, Passport noted a British war memorial that used Prince Harry's restriction from the Iraq conflict to honor those British citizens "brave at heart" but unable to serve in the troubled region. You may remember that the shocking memorial -- which depicts the prince's "war-mutilated" body lying dead with a desert vulture perched at his feet -- is meant to express the "unfulfilled patriotic aspiration" of soldiers who want, but are unable, to fight.

Today, in a story broken by Matt Drudge, it was revealed that Prince Harry has in fact been fighting in Afghanistan under a British media blackout for the past few months ... thus making what was formerly just the worst war memorial ever now the world's most awkward.

Maybe it's not such a hip-hop world after all. China's growing community of rappers, DJs, and B-Boys might be evidence of the globalization of hip-hop that Jeff Chang explored in FP's November/December issue, but it may not be quite ready for prime time. As part of an Olympics-related cultural exchange, Bejing-based rappers Dragon Tongue Squad took the stage at London's Royal Opera House last night. The British press, to put it mildly, was not feeling it:

Mostly, they sang in Mandarin, although even they have admitted the language doesn't lend itself well to flowing rhymes. Handily, translated lyrics were circulated, so we knew that Dragon Tongue-ism contained the couplet "Learn how to be good at learning skills/ Learn how to communicate smoothly". Only once did they shine, and for all the wrong reasons. Chinese Food was a comic masterpiece - "Thai, Thai! Why, why?" went the chorus, possibly, while the verses listed authentic takeaway dishes.

It does sound pretty weak, but the Times' reviewer may have gone a bit far in her blanket indictment of Chinese hip-hop:

Rather than lift the lid on Chinese youth culture, a preposterous performance proved why most hip-hop consumed in that country is - and probably always will be - American.

The reviewer admits that a seated theater designed for opera may not be the best venue for a hip-hop show. It's also possible that Dragon Tongue Squad, who apparently mainly rap about food, are not representative of Chinese hip-hop as a whole. It wouldn't speak very well of American MC skillz if Soulja Boy was sent abroad to represent the entire genre, for instance. Plus, as FP's online readers already know, while Beijing's rappers may not impress the Brits, they totally own those punks from Shanghai.

Here's a quirky story: The Economist sued Jason Rose, who owns the domain name theeconomist.com, for infringing on its trade name (the magazine is housed at economist.com). The centerpiece of Rose's site is a picture of Alan Greenspan below the title, "The Economist." Below the photograph is this text:

Alan Greenspan, Ex-Chairman of Federal Reserve Board is The Economist of the Century
President Reagan called Alan Greenspan "the most powerful man in the world."
Other Notable Economists.
Submit your candidate for The Economist of the Century.

Other than some legal language, that's pretty much it. Rose insists he had never heard of the magazine when he registered his site in 1996, a claim grudgingly accepted by the World Intellectual Property Organisation panel that adjudicated the case. The panel ruled that Rose can keep the site because it could not determine that he had obtained it in bad faith.

What's particularly odd is that Rose appears to make no money from theeconomist.com. There are none of the usual ads or misleading links typical of domain-name squatters. It would appear Rose either really likes Alan Greenspan or really hates The Economist and wants to lead its readers astray.

Justin Webb, the BBC's North America editor and blogger, drops this incendiary bomb:

Islamic terrorists want war. They want suffering - among others and their own people alike.

They would surely surmise that McCain will give them what they want. Bin Laden himself intervened with what many thought was the effect of keeping President Bush in power in 2004 with that weird tape just before the poll.

I think al-Qaeda would back McCain - that is not an argument for or against America backing him, but it seems to me that the vague assumption that the terrorists would back a lefty is lazy thinking...

This is grossly irresponsible on Webb's part. It was wrong when right-wing pundits and politicians said al Qaeda wanted to elect John Kerry in 2004, and it's wrong when left-wing pundits and politicians say al Qaeda wants to elect John McCain today. The truth is, al Qaeda doesn't really have a sophisticated understanding of the American political system -- and its leaders likely see McCain and Obama or Clinton as merely two faces of the same enemy.

Now, would al Qaeda like to see the United States stay in Iraq for another four, eight years? It's certainly possible. Iraq is a great recruiting magnet. It's also possible, though, that al Qaeda would like the United States to withdraw so that it can declare "victory" while it still plausibly can. But I don't think Justin Webb -- or anyone else -- can really say for sure which outcome al Qaeda would prefer.

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It was already a bad PR week for the Beijing Olympics after director Steven Spielberg quit as artistic consultant in protest of China's role in the Darfur genocide. Now, in a further embarassment, the British Olympic Association has decided to allow British athletes to wear masks while competing to minimize the effect of air pollution. The masks have already been designed and tested, apparently, but details and images have been kept under wraps.

Regardless of what they look like, Chinese officials can't be thrilled about the prospect of millions of viewers watching masked marathoners running through Beijing's smog-choked streets. The U.S. Olympic Committee has decided not to allow masks in order to avoid offending the hosts. China's international coming-out party seems increasingly likely to turn into a complete fiasco for the country's image. And the worst is yet to come.

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I'm not surprised Hamid Karzai recently blocked veteran British diplomat Paddy Ashdown from becoming U.N. envoy to Afghanistan, even though it looked to be a done deal. U.S., British, and U.N. officials were strongly behind Ashdown before Karzai pulled the plug during the latter's trip to Davos. Ashdown is known to be assertive and, frankly, effective. That no doubt worried Karzai, who is struggling to hold together his government and surely would not look kindly on an outspoken and influential international figure poking around dark corners of Kabul.

The search for Ashdown's replacement is still ongoing, but his op-ed in Wednesday's FT on what the international community needs to be doing in Afghanistan makes one feel all the more acutely that an opportunity was lost here. Ashdown paints a sober and realistic picture of the country's challenges, acknowledging that "defeat is now a real possibility" -- in sharp contrast to President Bush's recent rosy assessment. What's more, Ashdown had real strategies for change: winning over moderate Afghans, seriously tackling corruption, and working with, not against, the grain of the country's tribal structure. We can only hope that Ashdown's successor -- rumored to be NATO commander John McColl -- has the will to be so frank.

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Tony Blair is playing host with the most as co-chair of this year's World Economic Forum Annual Meeting in Davos, Switzerland. But will he overshadow his successor, sitting British Prime Minister Gordon Brown (pictured above after winning the Labor Party nomination last year), at this week's meetings?

While some find Gordo's looks charmingly unique, the general sentiment seems to be that Brown will continue to play second fiddle to Tony Blair in world popularity contests. Even those impressed by Brown's policy acumen acknowledge his charisma deficit and lack of PR flair.

Here at Passport, we'll be keeping tabs on the media attention paid to both statesmen, and see if Brown indeed is doomed to be always a bridesmaid, never a bride.

The British Council, a nearly $1 billion quasi-independent organization that promotes British culture overseas and works on foreign development and educational projects around the globe, has been forced to close its offices in the Russian cities of St. Petersburg and Ekaterinburg after its staff members were harassed by Russian internal security service (FSB) officers, sometimes in their homes in the middle of the night. The British Council said in a statement (pdf):

On Tuesday 15 January, the Russian State Security Services (FSB) summoned over 20 Russian staff to attend individual interviews. Late that night 10 members of staff were visited at home by the Russian tax police and called to further interviews yesterday. The interviews had little to do with their work and were clearly aimed at exerting undue pressure on innocent individuals."

One of the most disturbing trends in Russia is the use of tax inspectors and other bogus investigations to intimidate and harass foreign NGOs and their employees. And now comes news that FSB goons are visiting people's homes in the middle of the night? This is the kind of cock-eyed nonsense that went on in Nazi-occupied Europe and later in East Berlin and the Soviet Union during the Cold War. One might expect this kind of thing in North Korea or Burma today.

It doesn't say much for Vladimir Putin's Russia that the same tactics have resurfaced with so much enthusiasm there in recent years. Kicking George Soros's group out of Moscow is one thing. But the British Council? The guys who teach English classes to impoverished children and run a lending library for homesick expats? Give me a break.

Facebook has become a popular platform for public figures to reach out to supporters and fans. Presidential candidates, for instance, can use the hugely popular social-networking site to build official profiles and post updates from the campaign trail. The Facebook gods therefore frown on pranksters who attempt to impersonate celebrities by creating a fake profile. They also encourage legitimate users to report alleged impostors in order to maintain the integrity of the site.

The trouble is, it's often difficult to determine whether a celebrity profile is indeed a fake. This is exactly what happened to British MP Steve Webb, who recently discovered that he had been locked out of his own account and had his profile removed from the site. Several e-mails to Facebook were able to convince the company that the 10-year member of the House of Commons was no impostor. (Facebook eventually reinstated his account and issued the MP an official apology for the confusion.)

I'm surprised that this type of thing doesn't happen more often. But Facebook, as far as I can tell, does a pretty decent job weeding out the fake profiles that seem ubiquitous on other social networking sites. They do it so well, in fact, that perhaps the Department of Homeland Security could contract Facebook to run the"No Fly List." I'm sure Ted Kennedy would be happy to sponsor the necessary legislation.

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Rashid Rauf—arrested last year as the alleged mastermind of a plot to blow up a dozen airplanes over the Atlantic (and relegating all of us to live in carry-on hell ever after)—has escaped in Pakistan just after appearing at an extradition hearing in Islamabad. Rauf was apparently allowed by his police handlers to stop at a mosque to pray after the hearing. When he didn't reemerge from the mosque's prayer room, the police realized he had escaped through a back door. His handlers have since been detained. Regardless, it's clearly an embarrassment for Musharraf to lose such a high-profile terror suspect, and bad news for the Brits, who wanted to extradite Rauf to ask him about the airline plot and the murder of his uncle in Birmingham in 2002. 

A Pakistani court dropped the terrorism charges against Rauf late last year, but that was after it was reported that Rauf has extensive links with extremists groups in Pakistan, including al Qaeda. Reports today suggest that the Brits and Americans (no doubt also interested in Rauf's whereabouts) are giving Pakistani officials the benefit of the doubt that this was a case of police bungling and not something more sinister. That's looking increasingly hard to believe amid reports that the policemen waited a few hours to report Rauf missing. 

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European attitudes toward immigrants from outside of the continent are well known — they're generally not liked. But in recent months, a new hostile sentiment has been growing toward Europe's internal immigrants. Under the EU's free movement policy, any citizen of an EU member state can pick up and move to any other member state. National borders don't matter. Anyone who lives in an EU country is a citizen of Europe. So as the EU has grown, older member states like England and Italy have seen a large influx of people from former Soviet bloc countries. These immigrants generally only speak their native language, so assimilation has been difficult.

The debate over how to deal with these immigrants, until recently, was mainly civil. Now, in Italy, it's openly hostile. Following the October murder of an Italian woman by a Romanian immigrant, Italy's Senate approved a law on Thursday that would allow them to deport non-native EU citizens. The bill still has to be approved by the lower house, but if it passes, it would give Italy the power to expel anyone, thus contradicting the free movement policy.

The English haven't gone that far, but their patience with non-native speakers is waning. Local councils are being instructed to spend less on translating signs and other materials into the languages of local immigrants. Instead, they are being advised to spend on English classes — a stance that is not openly hostile, yet not exactly welcoming.

Controversies over internal immigration raise an important issue regarding the future of the EU: the fear that national identities could be lost. What does it mean to be Italian if anyone can live in Italy? Do you have to speak English to be English? A common currency and trade policy and open borders are great, but they aren't conducive to preserving how individual nations define themselves.