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North Korea turns volume of missile systems up to 11

North Korea issued a new threat to the United States on Tuesday saying its long-range field artillery units are now on the "highest alert" possible. Like turning an amplifier "up to eleven" -- a concept that doesn't actually make a guitar louder -- the move is stylistic rather than substantive.

That's not to say U.S. intelligence officials may not be underestimating the North's capabilities -- a concern that Kevin Baron reported on this morning -- but the new "warning" of an attack on the U.S. homeland isn't substantively different from previous threats against the homeland. "It does seem that the North Koreans are on the verge of running out of threats," Scott Snyder, a senior fellow at the Council on Foreign Relations, told Foreign Policy earler this month. 

To demonstrate this, we've updated our running list of North Korea threats below. But first: This Is Spinal Tap:

 

And here: The latest threats from North Korea beginning with the warnings that followed the international sanctions over Pyongyang's third nuclear test in February. 

1. We now have "lighter and smaller" nukes, and we're not afraid to use them against the United States.

2. Are you ready for the silent treatment? We just cut our military hotline with South Korea.

3. We also just tore up all previous non-aggression pacts with South Korea.

4. In response to these UN sanctions, we're going to "exercise the right to a pre-emptive nuclear attack."

5.  We're ready for "all-out war."

6. We just invalidated the 1953 armistice, so anything's fair game.

7. Seriously, that armistice agreement has been invalidated.

8. Now we're sharply increasing the number of training flights for our fighter-jets.

9. Not impressed? How about we turn South Korea's Baengyeong Island into a "sea of fire"?

10. Now we're conducting live-fire drills near a disputed maritime border.

11. Just FYI, our military personnel are standing by to "annihilate the U.S. imperialist aggressors." 

12. At this very moment, all of our citizens are singing a song about wiping out the "U.S. imperialists."

13. We're so serious about going to war that we conducted a practice drone strike.

14. That's it: We're conducting air-raid drills.

15. We will order "strong military counter-action" if the U.S. conducts more B-52 bomber sorties.

16. Seriously, we'll destroy your military bases in Japan and Guam if you fly one more B-52 bomber around here.

17. One more move and we'll start taking hostages ... American hostages. 

18. Don't mess with us, we just set our field artillery units to the "highest alert." 

 

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