U.N. denies plans to invade Texas

In remarks to a local CNN affiiliate earlier this week, Tom Head, an elected judge in Lubbock County, Texas made some rather alarming predictions about what will happen if Barack Obama is reelected: 

Referring to unexplained "executive orders" and other documents that Obama and "his minions have filed," Head said, "regardless of whether the Republicans take over the Senate, which I hope they do, he is going to make the United States Congress and he's going to make the Constitution irrelevant. He's got his czars in place that don't answer to anybody."

Obama, Head said, will "try to give the sovereignty of the United States away to the United Nations. What do you think the public's going to do when that happens? We are talking civil unrest, civil disobedience, possibly, possibly civil war. ... I'm not talking just talking riots here and there. I'm talking Lexington, Concord, take up arms, get rid of the dictator. OK, what do you think he is going to do when that happens? He is going to call in the U.N. troops, personnel carriers, tanks and whatever."

Head vowed to personally stand "in front of their personnel carriers and say, 'You're not coming in here.' And I've asked the sheriff. I said, 'Are you going to back me on this?' And he said, 'Yeah, I'm going to back you.' Well, I don't want a bunch of rookies back there who have no training and little equipment. I want seasoned veteran people who are trained that have got equipment. And even then, you know we may have two or three hundred deputies facing maybe a thousand U.N. troops. We may have to call out the militia."

Evidently, because it's Friday and it's not like he has anything else to talk about,  someone asked Ban Ki-moon's spokesperson whether the U.N. has any plans to send blue helmets into the Lone Start state: 

"It's absolutely ridiculous," said U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon's spokesman, Martin Nesirky, when asked if the United Nations had any plans to invade Texas.

Of course, that's just what you would expected him to say if they were planning to invade Texas.



Mexico is running out of eggs

The country with the world's highest per-capita egg consumption is running out of eggs, following a bird flu outbreak:

President Felipe Calderon and members of his Cabinet have announced about $227 million in emergency financing and commercial measures to restore production and replace about 11 million chickens slaughtered after a June outbreak of bird flu.

Calderon says he's sending inspectors to stop speculation that he blames for high prices, which have about doubled in recent weeks.

Calderon said Friday that his government has already begun large-scale importation of eggs. He also said about 3 million hens were being sent to farms hit by the flu outbreak.

Mexicans do love their huevos. According to the International Egg Commission, the country's citizens eat 321 eggs per capita per year. Americans eat 255.

Ronaldo Schemidt/AFP/Getty Images