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Top 10 ways to tell your new Taliban friend is an impostor

You've probably heard by now that NATO got totally punk'd by an unknown man posing as a high-ranking Taliban leader. How embarrassing. If only they'd looked out for these 10 ways of telling the true Talib from the con man, we wouldn't be in this mess:

10. Keeps asking if the peace talks can be held in the Maldives

9. Eyepatch switches sides from meeting to meeting

8. Introduces himself as "Colonel Iqbal from the ISI"

7. Runs up a large minibar tab at the Four Seasons Kabul

6. Wife angling for a spot on "The Real Housewives of Kandahar"

5. Claims to be texting Mullah Omar but is actually just playing Angry Birds the whole time

4. Offers to settle Afghan War with a game of Jenga

3. Turban made of an actual towel

2. Wears trench coat, offers to sell the letters O and U

1. Agrees to trade Osama bin Laden for Justin Bieber

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Fiji Water at center of junta's political crisis

The Fijian government has expelled  Fiji Water's top executive in the country over vague allegations that he was interfering in local politics, the island nation's military leader says:

Speaking from China, Commodore Frank Bainimarama said American David Roth "had been acting in a manner prejudicial to good governance and public order by interfering in the domestic affairs and governance of Fiji".

"It is unfortunate that David Roth saw it fit to engage in activities outside of his work-permit conditions," he said, but he did not explain the nature of such actions.

A few days earlier, the country's de facto Prime Minister resigned over Roth's expulsion, refusing to sign the order to have him deported. 

Trendy Fiji Water accounts for around 20 percent of the country's exports according to some estimates. The company maintains that it tries to stay out of the island nation's often violent politics, though as Anna Lenzer's 2009 investigation for Mother Jones makes clear, that essentially impossible in a place like Fiji.