Some light Thanksgiving humor

Posted By Britt Peterson Tuesday, November 23, 2010 - 11:46 AM Share

What better way to bring the family together around the turkey than a joke or two ... about corrupt politicians in distant countries?

I've read the following joke now in a number of forms, about a number of countries. Reader Mgcarbeezy sends us the Kenyan version, but I've also seen Nigerian and Indian ones:

A Kenyan politician goes to the U.S. to visit his counterpart. When the senator invites him over for dinner, the minister is very impressed by the lavish mansion and grounds and the costly furnishings. He asks, "How can you afford all this on a meager senator's salary?" The senator smiles knowingly and takes him to the window.

"Can you see the river?" the senator asks.

"Yes"

"Can you see the bridge over it?"

"Of course," says the Kenyan minister.

"10 percent," the senator says smugly.

Some time later, the senator has occasion to return the visit. The Kenyan minister lavishes all hospitality on him. When they come to his house, the American is stunned by the minister's huge palace, glittering with precious art, his hundreds of servants, and so forth. "How can you possibly afford this, on a salary paid in shillings?" he asks. The minister calls him to the window.

"See the river over there?"

"Sure," says the senator.

"Can you see the bridge over it?"

The senator looks, is confused -- he doesn't see anything. He peers more closely and says, "No, I don't see any bridge."

"100 percent!" says the minister.

Here's another one, from reader Strategic Discourse, from Pakistan:

Gen. Musharraf is getting a haircut, when all of a sudden the barber asks, "So General, when are you holding elections?" Musharraf is enraged, but he decides to keep quiet, thinking he must've heard something wrong.

The next time he visits the same barber, and during a haircut, the barber asks, once again, "So president, when are we having elections?" Musharraf is mighty pissed, but decides to give the barber one last chance.

During the next haircut, however, the barber asks the same question and Musharraf flies into a fit of rage and orders the man to be killed immediately. Just as the guards pull out their guns, the barber falls at Musharraf's feet and pleads, "But sir, I was just doing my job. It's so much easier to cut your hair when it stands on end -- as it does whenever you hear the word ‘election.'"

And, for old times' sake, a Cold War-era gem from Finland, from reader Markku Y, who explains that Finnish President Urho Kekkonen was known for his particularly welcoming attitude toward the Soviets:

Brezhnev once called Kekkonen in the '70s, while Prime Minister Sorsa was sitting next to him.

"Da, da, da, da, da, da, njet, da, da, da, da," said Kekkonen during the phone call.

After Kekkonen hung up, Sorsa asked him, surprised and horrified, "What did you say ‘njet' to?"

"He asked if I ever got tired of saying ‘da'!"

As always, we can't get enough of these, so please continue to post more in the comments section and we promise to run the best in our Jan/Feb issue of the magazine.

 

ALEXANDER KARAS

1:16 PM ET

November 23, 2010

That one about the haircut is

That one about the haircut is an old chestnut dating back to at least the 1980s. I originally heard it about Brezhnev and Poland.

 

RICKMAC

7:45 PM ET

November 23, 2010

An old joke about apartheid South Africa

PW Botha (penultimate Prime Minister of apartheid South Africa) is relaxing in his garden one evening after Parliament. His peace is shattered by a massive commotion from the chicken coop at the bottom of the garden. He goes to have a look, and sees that a crocodile from the river came and attacked his chickens.
He calls up his Police Chief, and orders him to get the crocodile and teach it a lesson. The next evening, relaxing in the same place at the same time, his peace is again shattered by a commotion in the chicken coop. He calls up the Police Chief and asks: "What's the problem? Why didn't you sort out the crocodile?"
The Police Chief answers that his men could not find the crocodile and apologises.
"Useless!" Botha thinks to himself. He calls up the chief of the South African Defence Force, and orders him to find and neutralise the crocodile.
The next evening, at the same time and the same place, his peace is again shattered by a commotion in the chicken coop. He calls up the chief of the Defence Force, and asks: "What happened? Why is the crocodile still eating my chickens?"
The chief of the Defence Force apologises, and says that his men could not find the crocodile.
Furious, Botha calls up the Special Branch (apartheid-era secret police) and orders them to sort out the crocodile.
The next evening, at the same time and the same place, Botha's peace is again shattered by a commotion from the chicken coop. Furious, Botha is just about to call the Special Branch and let them have it, when there is a rustling from the bushes at the bottom of the garden, and the sounds of something being beaten up.
Suddenly, out from the bushes appear two agents from the Special Branch, clutching a badly beaten leguaan (large lizard found in South Africa, similar
to the Australian goanna) who is screaming: "Alright! Alright! I'm a crocodile!"

 

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