Update: Akbar Zeb has denied this story and the original article appears to be false.  

Despite having served for years as a distinguished Pakistani diplomat, Akbar Zeb reportedly cannot receive accreditation as Pakistan's ambassador to Saudi Arabia. The reason, apparently, has nothing to do with his credentials, and everything to do with his name -- which, in Arabic, translates to "biggest dick":

In Saudi Arabia, size does count.

A high level Pakistani diplomat has been rejected as Ambassador of Saudi Arabia because his name, Akbar Zib, equates to "Biggest Dick" in Arabic. Saudi officials, apparently overwhelmed by the idea of the name, put their foot down and gave the idea of his being posted there, the kibosh.

According to this Arabic-language article in the Arab Times, Pakistan had previously floated Zeb's name as ambassador to the United Arab Emirates and Bahrain, only to have him rejected for the same reason. One can only assume that submitting Zeb's name to a number of Arabic-speaking countries is some unique form of punishment designed by the Pakistani Foreign Ministry -- or the result of a particularly egregious cockup.

 

 
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GUYVER

7:53 PM ET

February 3, 2010

lol "Biggest cock"

Funny thing is the Pakistanis were never given an explanation and so assumed that the US was behind it.

 

JONNICOLUCCI

11:03 PM ET

February 3, 2010

"Biggest cock"

Pakistanis are wrong to send him to Saudi Arabia or Bahrain.
Considering the name's meaning, Pakistan should post him to India. Pakistanis could laugh and the Indians won't even get the joke.

 

ASIFSHAH6

3:09 AM ET

February 5, 2010

Pakistani Ambassador

I liked your comment about sending him to India. You have a good sense of humour. Thanks for the laugh, needed it.
Asif

 

NIMBLEHUMAN

10:45 AM ET

February 5, 2010

That's actually a good idea!

Dude, that is a good idea! Send him to India where "Zeb" would just be another Muslim surname!

I guess by the same token the US should never assign an Ambassador Lund to India or Pakistan, as that word refers to the male genitalia in many Indic languages.

That's why I love "Office Space" even more than most, as "Lundberg" is just a horrible name to the Urdu/Hindi speaking ear...:D

 

ANGRIEST_BUDDHIST

5:21 AM ET

February 7, 2010

It could be worse

at least it's not "smallest." Anyways, this guy is on his way to becoming an internet sensation:
http://www.zazzle.com/akbar+zeb+gifts

 

MOTHER

1:23 AM ET

February 9, 2010

cockup

sorry dude...pity you don't know that there are more muslims in india than pakistan.

 

KIKOLUCCI

11:25 AM ET

February 10, 2010

Big Dick to India

Why not to Italy?
They are small timers and wear tight trousers too.
Poor Pakis have to go through dick humilation after Naik humilation.
They never get tired

 

SMCI60652

12:53 PM ET

February 4, 2010

hahah

If only we coulda applied that much prized "Arab rationale" to another infamous "Dick" in 2000 and 2004, maybe things wouldn't be so bad.

 

BIGDICK

11:09 PM ET

February 5, 2010

Infamous Dick

Hey, I'm a BigDick, and I'm just a little offended by this discussion. Couldn't we be just a little bit politically correct?

 

SMCI60652

4:30 PM ET

February 7, 2010

sorry dude.

sorry dude.

 

SMCI60652

4:31 PM ET

February 7, 2010

but you hafta admit, Cheney

but you hafta admit, Cheney kinda ruined it for everybody.

 

COMICUS1980

9:54 PM ET

February 4, 2010

Cock o' the walk

So, if he were Serbian, his name would be Blagojevich, right?

 

BILLYFLOYD

10:27 AM ET

February 5, 2010

Centuwion- awest that man!

I have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome called 'Biggus Dickus'.

 

NIMBLEHUMAN

10:41 AM ET

February 5, 2010

 

DZHASTIN

11:10 AM ET

February 6, 2010

Other good names.

I had a college internship at the US embassy in Moscow processing visa applications. There are quite a few Russian names that don't transliterate well into English (Vagin/Vagina is popular) but my favorite name was, by far, Semen Fartychev. Poor guy sounded like a character from a Leslie Nielsen movie.

 

SALMANAHMEDSYED

4:38 AM ET

February 10, 2010

Strange translations !!!

The worst, both for the individual and Pakistan would have been, if his name was 'Asghar Zeb' - meaning 'the smallest dick'. hahahaha
Few years ago, a Pakistan Foreign Secretary, was Naik Mohammed. The word "Naik", translated into Arabic is 'a pimp' .

 

MAMOONA MALIK

2:53 PM ET

February 10, 2010

clarification

High Commission for Pakistan
Press Section
Ottawa
---

We would like to point out that the story going around that our ambassador was rejected by Saudi Arabia is a hoax and should not be taken seriously. It is a prank played on the internet which has now been picked up by some newspapers. In actual fact the Ambassador was never selected for Saudi Arabia or any Arab country nor his name sent to seek concurrence of the respective governments. He has served only 9 months of his 3 years tenure in Ottawa.

We hope you will see the story for what it is – a hoax.

(Mamoona Amjed)
Press Counsellor
February 10, 2010

 

NAVYCHIC

5:02 PM ET

February 10, 2010

wah wah wah

buzz kill...

 

MAK

7:51 AM ET

March 8, 2010

Foreign Office should explain the language meanings

Mr. Akber Zaib is respectable person and concerned should understand the meanings. First the URDU language is mixture of many languages i.e. Persian, Arabic, Turkish, Hindi and English. Zeb is basically a Persian word and the meaning is "Ornament or Beauty. It is very common name in Afghanistan, Pakistan & India. The well known names are Mughul Emperor Aurangzaib, Shahzaib, Zaib Gul, Zaibaish, Zeba and many more. It was better if Mr. Akber used to spell his name as ZAIB and it it differs in pronounciation Zeb or Zib and ZAIB. Ofcourse the name cannot be changed but spelling can be changed. Arabic peoples also not wrong as how will they call the word in Media which having not good meanings but pronounce will make big difference and someone should explain in better way. The Indvidual future should not be put in trouble because of this. The world is too big and he can be posted anywhere else other than Arab world. There are too many words we can find but in other language having different meanings.

 

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