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Samuel L. Jackson vs. Pirates

If the media hype was not enough for you, this is definitely a sign that Somali pirates have gotten a little bit too sexy:

Samuel L. Jackson and his Uppity Films have joined forces with Andras Hamori's H20 Motion Pictures to secure life rights of Andrew Mwangura, a negotiator between pirates and the owners of vessels hijacked off the coast of Africa.

Mwangura, the pro-bono negotiator who often brokers the release of hostaged ships' crews, was as shocked as you are:

Mwangura told the Guardian that he had been taken aback by Hamori's interest. "He said he wanted to make a story about my life. I was very surprised. He had been trying to reach me for two months but did not have the right phone number."

But sorry movie producers, there's a caveat:

Asked how he would react if the film-makers felt the need to "Hollywoodise" the story, [Mwangura] said: "I always stand for the truth. I don't want Pirates of the Caribbean. I am a living man, and you can't say lies about a living man ... I am what I am am – someone who does things for forgotten people and the community."

Kevin Winter/Getty Images

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Haiti rejects Mexican food aid over swine flu fears

This has to qualify as the most dangerously stupid swine-flu overreaction yet:

Haitian officials rejected a Mexican aid ship carrying 77 tons of much-needed food aid because of ''unfounded'' swine flu fears, Mexico's ambassador said Wednesday.

The Mexican navy ship El Huasteco was to arrive May 2 in Port-au-Prince carrying rice, fertilizer and emergency food kits to help the impoverished country respond to chronic hunger and devastating tropical storms.

But Mexican Ambassador Zadalinda Gonzalez y Reynero said Haitian officials told her April 29 they would not accept the ship, which was still in Mexican waters near the Yucatan peninsula at the time.

''The crew was in perfect health and there was no risk at all,'' Gonzalez y Reynero told The Associated Press, adding that the cargo and 64 sailors aboard the ship had all been screened in Mexico.

24 percent of children in Haiti suffer from chronic undernutrition. Glad the country has its priorities in order.