Winners
Moroccan prisoners: King Mohammed VI pardoned almost 9,000 inmates to celebrate the
birth of his daughter, Princess Lalla Khadija.
Ben Bernanke: Soothes the savage beast of the markets, kind of. But Alan Greenspan is still daddy.
Somalia: The first good news out of the country in a while: the UN predicts peace there for the foreseeable future. Unfortunately, it will require 8,000 peacekeepers.
GooTube: Scores BBC content.
Stephen Hawking: Released from gravity.
Losers
The U.S. Army: Loses face and personnel over the Walter Reed mess.
Airbus: Downsizing makes unions mad.
Mañana: Peru's president launches anti-tardiness campaign.
State of the onion: The price of the tear-inducing bulb has recently skyrocketed 500% in India, and irate housewives are venting on talk radio.
Tokyo kids: No snow this winter for the first time in 131 years.
The American public: The AP's weeklong ban on Paris Hilton news has ended.
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