Winners

Conspiracy theorists: With partisan rancor at a new high and fears of chaos on election day, expect any surprising results to be met with angry shouts of "FRAUD."

Chinese diplomacy: Gets North Korea back to the table and charms African leaders at a lavish summit in Beijing.  

Sacha Baron Cohen: Borat opens to rave reviews. He can name the price for his next movie, I like!

Green taxes: British politicians fall over themselves to welcome the aptly named Stern Review. Maybe green is the new Brown?

Losers

Tennessee couch potatoes: Between Aug. 1 and Oct. 15, local TV ran 12,007 ads by Senate candidates Bob Corker and 7,239 by Harold Ford.

John Kerry: Just in case anyone needed reminding of why he lost.

Georgian pensioners: Gazprom plans to double gas prices next year.

Utube: Universal Tube & Rollform website, utube.com, keeps crashing. And it's not being overloaded by people trying to buy actual tubes.