Fun Stuff

Are you a member of the global elite? Do you enjoy shooting things? Have we got the product for you.

Colombian tailor Miguel Caballero, who for years has provided Colombia's political and business elite with safe but fashionable bulletproof garments, has seen his international business boom since since U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney accidently "peppered" his friend in the face with a shotgun while hunting quail in 2006. Buckingham Palace just ordered 52 jackets.

The Guardian reports:

[Caballero] has opened a branch in Mexico, which is convulsed by drug-related violence, and will soon open another in Guatemala. High-profile clients include Venezuela's president, Hugo Chavez, Spain's Prince Felipe and the Hollywood action star Steven Seagal, who requested a bullet-proof kimono.

In July, Caballero opened a branch in Harrods, London's flagship store, to cater largely to security-conscious Russian and Arab plutocrats. "We're just starting there and it's going well," he said this week, just back from a visit to London.

The protective jackets, blazers and raincoats rely not on Kevlar but overlaps of special synthetic material. The "classic" model weighs 1.5kg and can stop a round from .38 revolver and 9mm pistol. The "platinum" model weighs 2kg and can stop a mini-Uzi and MP5 assault rifle.

Caballero enjoys testing out new garments by shooting his employees, particularly his lawyer. If watching journalists get shot is more your speed, you can watch the Guardian's Rory Carroll take one at close range here.

Last time we checked in with the reliably buffoonish Russian ultra-nationalist leader Vladimir Zhirinovsky, he was engaging in fisticuffs with his political rivals on live TV. But despite his surly temperment, corruption, and overt racism, Zhirinovsky's might still mean well after all. Check out the personal finance advice he gave in an interview with RIA-Novosti (via Johnson's Russia List):

"I have been thrifty. I am not having my hair cut. My hair has already grown longer than ever. I only shave every other day. I eat very little. I never go out. I never invite anyone over to my place. I don't buy presents for anyone and I am asking people not to buy anything for me. I am not travelling anywhere," he said.

Zhirinovskiy recommended "saving reasonably" and said that this would result in reduced spending. He made several suggestions: "There is no need to buy new clothes. They can be swapped with others. I am prepared to give a couple of suits to someone, several pairs of shoes, a wristwatch. Why go shopping? Turn to each other to get what you would otherwise have to get from a shop."

Zhirinovskiy also said there was no need to spend money on personal hygiene products because "all these are chemical and hazardous". Fewer newspapers should be bought because the same newspaper can be shared "by all next-door neighbours" or perhaps "the entire block", he continued.

"As for Christmas celebrations, there is no need to travel abroad or to go to a restaurant. Stay in Moscow, stay at home or invite yourself over to someone else's place."

Something tells me Zhirinovsky's friends might not be so welcoming when he shows up uninvited to their Christmas party without having used personal hygiene products for several weeks.

Photo: Epsilon/Getty Images

Amid a slew of piracy stories from Somalia, a fake Bloomberg piece is circulating the 'net today with a report that Wall Street bankers might cringe upon reading:

Somali Pirates in Discussions to Acquire Citigroup

By Andreas Hippin

November 20 (Bloomberg) -- The Somali pirates, renegade Somalis known for hijacking ships for ransom in the Gulf of Aden, are negotiating a purchase of Citigroup.

The pirates would buy Citigroup with new debt and their existing cash stockpiles, earned most recently from hijacking numerous ships, including most recently a $200 million Saudi Arabian oil tanker. The Somali pirates are offering up to $0.10 per share for Citigroup, pirate spokesman Sugule Ali said earlier today. The negotiations have entered the final stage, Ali said. 

"You may not like our price, but we are not in the business of paying for things. Be happy we are in the mood to
offer the shareholders anything," said Ali.

The pirates will finance part of the purchase by selling new Pirate Ransom Backed Securities.  The PRBS's are backed by the cash flows from future ransom payments from hijackings in the Gulf of Aden.  Moody's and S&P have already issued their top investment grade ratings for the PRBS's.

Head pirate, Ubu Kalid Shandu, said: "We need a bank so that we have a place to keep all of our ransom money. Thankfully, the dislocations in the capital markets has allowed us to purchase Citigroup
at an attractive valuation and to take advantage of TARP capital to grow the business even faster."

Shandu added, "We don't call ourselves pirates. We are coastguards and this will just allow us to guard our coasts better."

In real pirate news, the Weekly Piracy Report counted 11 incidents last week. And James Carrol debunks the lessons of piracy in the International Herald Tribune.

(Hat tip: Andrew Willis)

Continuing with the secret agent theme, here's Nicolas Sarkozy annoying world leaders with his famous Dr. Evil impression. Alternate captions are welcome.

Photo: Pool/Getty Images

Samuel Aranda/Getty Images

Remember the old Carmen Sandiego computer games, where each case began with Carmen and her gang carrying out an absurd heist of, for example, Niagara Falls or the Great Pyramids? I was reminded of these games upon reading that thieves in Jamaica had made off with an entire beach.

Hundreds of tons of white sand were removed from a planned resort on Jamaica’s shore and, three months later, the police still have not found the suspects or the sand. The scope of the operation – over 500 truck-loads of sand were hauled away - have raised speculation that the police or a rival hotel was complicit in the heist. The crime has turned political, with the opposition People National’s Party using the opportunity to hammer away at corruption in the beachfront development business.

People have complained for a long time, of course, that sand has a way of getting into the strangest places. This is, I suppose, just one more.

Some day I'm going to tell my grandchildren that I remember the days when ridiculous stunts involving massive amounts of food were dominated by Americans. I could live with Japan winning U.S. hot dog eating contests, but this is just too much:

Apparently, the crowd's hunger seems to have gotten the best of them before Guinness officials could measure this ostrich-meat monster. Never mind nukes -- I expect the next U.S. president to take concrete steps to ensure that the Iranians never again comes this close to sandwich dominance.

Yup. That's Foreign Policy's January/February 2006 issue featuring Hugo "Boss" Chávez himself on the cover. The therapist in this scene obviously has excellent taste in office reading material, though he may want to renew his subscription.

For the record, we had nothing to do with this but we think it's great and hope the trend continues. A recent issue of FP would look great on Alec Baldwin's desk on 30 Rock or in House's waiting room. We weren't founded until 1970 so I guess Mad Men might be a stretch.

(Hat tip: Agent Zero)

Photo by Dan Kitwood/Getty Images

Colin Powell appears to have traded statecraft for stagecraft. The former Secretary of State hopped on stage with the Nigerian hip-hop group Olu Maintain last night at the Africa Rising Festival at London's Royal Albert Hall. Powell danced to the group's song, "Yahoozee," and even took the microphone to sing a few lines. The song celebrates "Yahoozee," a term used for those who defraud people using the Internet, a booming industry in Nigeria. Whether Powell knew the subject matter of the song remains a mystery.

More disturbingly, Powell's performance continues a worrying trend of international statesman trying to branch out into hip-hop careers. The world had only recently recovered from UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon's rap tribute to Jay-Z when it was hit with Powell's bombshell. Who's next, Robert Gates?