In the next issue of FP, we're publishing a group of articles on political humor around the world, ranging from funny-ha-ha to self-protective sarcasm to subtly subversive irony. Not surprisingly, this has been a lot of fun to work on, and we wanted to invite you, our readers, to join in. We're inviting you to send us your political jokes from around the world. Submit in the comments section, and we'll publish our favorites when we post the rest of the stories. To kick things off, here's a classic from Communist Romania:

The Americans sent a CIA agent to Romania to shoot the dangerous dictator Nicolae Ceausescu. The agent arrives in the country, finds the dictator addressing a large crowd, picks up his sniper rifle… and can't shoot. He raises it again… and can't shoot. A final time, he lifts the gun, but he just can't do it. When he returns home to report to his supervisor about the failure of his mission, the chief asks what happened. "Well," the agent said. "Each time, it started out great: I had a clean shot, I was ready to go -- and then the crowd saw what I was about to do and started chanting: Shoot him, shoot him, shoot him!"

There's not much to add by way of commentary here. Bolivian President Evo Morales, who plays for a minor-league soccer team in La Paz, was caught on tape giving a blatant kick to the groin of an opposing player who had committed a hard foul on him earlier. Somehow Morales didn't get a red card and went on to score a goal in the game, presumably because no one really wants to play defense on someone with presidential immunity. 

A lot of this is probably lost on those of us who can't speak German, but it's still pretty fun to watch. Outgoing -- and controversial -- Swiss finance minister Hans-Rudolf Merz was speaking in parliament about regulations on the import of cured meats when, according to the Associated Press, he began "convulsing with laughter at the unintelligible bureaucratic language in his script."

I guess a guy can only discuss meat importation for so long before losing a grip on sanity. 

Public figures are making a habit of lying on their resumes, but (now former) New Zealand military scientist Stephen Wilce has won the prize for most absurd claim.

Wilce claimed that he was a member of the British Royal Marines (Wilce was born in Britain), which isn't true. But that's been done before, and if that were Wilce's only falsehood, his story would have likely attracted very little media interest.

The claim that raised suspicion of Wilche's qualifications was refreshingly ridiculous. He alleged that he was a member of the 1988 British Olympic bobsled team, and that he raced against -- and personally knew -- the Jamaican team that was later immortalized in the 1993 movie "Cool Runnings." Wilche was caught on a secret tape, aired by "60 minutes," a New Zealand-channel TV3 program, saying,"I knew all the Jamaican guys" and that they were "mad, absolute nutters."

Not only does Wilche's claim scream fabrication, but why the hell did he have it on his resume in the first place? What employer did he think would be so impressed by him simply having met the Jamaican team? But it seems he's somewhat of a serial resume embellisher:

Previous employers and colleagues told the programme Mr Wilce had claimed he designed guidance systems for Britain's Polaris nuclear missiles, a now-defunct system that was launched in 1960, at the height of the Cold War.  He also said he had worked for MI5 and MI6, the British secret services, the program reported. 

It said at one previous workplace he was known as "Walter Mitty," a reference to U.S. author James Thurber's fictional character who lives in a fantasy world.

I have a hard time believing Wilche will find work in the near future.

H/T to Boing Boing.

In an event seemingly designed specifically to guarantee a write-up on Passport, 10,276 people in China's city of Ordos, in Inner Mongolia, formed the world's largest human domino chain yesterday, besting the previous record of 9,234 Singaporeans desperate for a Passport mention.

The event  just gets better: Chinese basketball icon and former NBA center Mengke Bateer, who ESPN informs me averaged 3.4 points per game over his career, kicked off the chain by passing a basketball to the first "domino."

The volunteers, mostly high school students, spelled out "Beautiful Ordos." If they spell out "Passport" next time, I think I can get them on the front page.

In a too-good-to-check item, the Daily Mirror reports that rapper Snoop Dogg recently attempted to rent the entire nation of Liechtenstein for a music video:

The request surprised authorities in the state of Liechtenstein - population 35,000 with an area of 61.7 square miles between Switzerland and Austria.

Local property lease agent Karl Schwaerzler said: "We've had requests for palaces and villages but never one to hire the whole country before."

He admitted: "It would have been possible." But the deal fell through because Snoop's management "did not give us enough time".

So take note music video producers, filmmakers, and wedding/bar mitzvah planners, it apparently is possible to rent a sovereign principality in Western Europe as long as you give them enough notice. 

Hat tip: New York Magazine

It's hard to imagine being criticized -- much less punished -- for taking World Cup spirit too far. Indeed, excess seems to be precisely the name of these games. For anyone who thinks their face-paint masterpieces are prize-worthy, the award for over-the-top aficionado has already been claimed by Sasa Jovic : armed only with a backpack, world map and, of course, his national flag, this Serbian ultra-fan embarked on a 10,000 mile walk to Pretoria to catch his home country's match against Ghana. The Serbs lost 1-0.  No word yet on whether Jovic arrived in time to witness defeat.

As it turns out, however, not every patriotic display is quite so praiseworthy. Thirty women were ejected from Monday's Netherland-Denmark game for "ambush marketing" (a very "serious offense" according to the South Africa Police Service). Their fateful mistake? Too much color-coordination. The fans were caught cheering in identical orange mini-dresses distributed by the Dutch brewery, Bavaria. Under Fifa's strict marketing rules for the Cup, only official sponsors are permitted to advertize at matches-and Budweiser is the only beer on tap at these games. The women, two of whom were summoned to Court on Wednesday (and then released on bail), insist they were just showing Dutch pride, but Fifa claims they were illegally paid to don Bavaria apparel.

The only question left: which is worse, paying your customers to flaunt your logo, or bribing foreigners to root for your team?

Huge news for foreign policy and international affairs junkies: a new version of Scrabble to be released in the U.K. this July allows the playing of proper nouns (among other rule changes).

Many are outraged, but I couldn't be more excited. Finally my dream of using "Reykjavik" (30 base points), "Kyrgyzstan" (30 base points), and countless others (readers, feel free to chime in your favorites) has finally been realized. (Anticipate long arguments over the spelling of "Qaddafi.")

Purists take heart, the classic version will still be available -- but I won't be playing with you.

(Note: there is only one "Z" available for play, but using a blank tile would still give a base score of 24 points for former-President Jimmy Carter's National Security Advisor.)

**Update: It appears the new version will not be sold in North America, where Hasbro owns the rights to the game (Mattel owns the rights to Scrabble elsewhere in the world.) Perhaps someone should just make my dream come true, and create a (solely) international relations Scrabble edition?

Daniel Charbonnier, co-founder of Minds in Motion, an international hospitality advisory and services company, has recently partnered with concept artists Frank and Patrik Riklin to transform the 'Zero-Star Hotel' into a worldwide business opportunity. The 'Zero Star Hotel' is an art installation, a Swiss nuclear bunker converted into an 'eco-luxury' hotel that can host 14 guests in a configuration of 6 single beds and 4 double beds. Larger groups can also be accommodated in an adjacent room highlighting original military-style bunk-beds.

A batch of 50-peso coins, each worth about a dime, have returned to cause a headache for the Chilean mint. The coins spell the country's name C-H-I-I-E -- a typo that has recently cost the the general manager of the mint his job. The most remarkable aspect of this story, perhaps, is that the coins were released in 2008 -- but the spelling mistake was not noticed until late last year.

Georgia just can't get Vladimir Putin out of its mind.

A new cartoon of extremely poorly-drawn yellow characters on Georgian TV called The Samsonadzes -- an obvious knock-off of The Simpsons -- is rising high in the ratings chart. Creator Shalva Ramishvili disavows his show is a copy:

The Samsonadzes is a native Georgian serial about a Georgian family... I want to say to Simpsons fans, please do not think that our show is an imitation or a rip off of The Simpsons. Yes of course it was an inspiration for us, but the Samsonadzes is not a copy.

A recent episode featuring Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin makes it hard to disagree on the "native Georgian" part, at least. Ramishvili described the importance of including Putin and Russian President Dmitry Medvedev in a recent episode:

Having the Russian leaders on the show was like fulfilling a civic duty. The whole world is interested in the relationship between Russia and Georgia and we all know what Russia did in Georgia during the war [of August 2008].

Apparently, there's a trend of Eastern European knock-offs of The Simpsons: check out this "cult hit" on YouTube of The Simpsons set in rural Estonia.

There's no two ways about it: The last year of foreign policy had more drama than a Scorsese epic and enough thrills to put Avatar to shame. From the fearsome battle in the Afghan hills to the U.S.-China love-hate relationship, and from the serious al Qaeda threats in Yemen to the hard-to-take-seriously pirates off the Somali coast, 2009 was arguably a much more interesting year for global politics than for movies. So with Oscar nominations due tomorrow, we're taking nominations for our own FP Oscars.

Who would you pick for the best actor of the year? Is President Barack Obama holding his own in an unfriendly world, or does the ubiquitous Brazilian President Lula deserve an Oscar? Is Muammar Qaddafi's persona just too good to be true, or do you prefer the smooth, suave diplomacy (and wacky domestic antics) of France's Nicolas Sarzoky?

You tell us what scandals, dramas, tragicomedies, and personal stories are your picks for the history books in 2009. Listed below are the categories and a few sample entries. Send your own nominations to Joshua.Keating@foreignpolicy.com or paste them in the comments below. May the best news win!

Best picture: What one story encapsulates the year?

Best drama: Spies, dissidents, treachery, and truth. Were the adrenaline-pumping protests following the Iran elections the most dramatic event? Or perhaps it was the long, drawn-out U.S. decision to send more troops to Afghanistan. If you have a humanitarian bent, the crises in Haiti, Sri Lanka, and Pakistan might come a heart-wrenching first.

Best comedy: If it isn't a tragedy, the dysfunction of the U.S. Congress is certainly good for a laugh. Then again, how about the Copenhagen Climate conference that ended in a collective shrug? Or the British MPs who used their expense accounts to buy fancy rugs and re-dig their backyard swimming pools?

Best romantic comedy: Gordon Brown requested meeting after meeting with the U.S. president; Obama just didn't have time. Brown gave him a romantic antique biography of Churchill, and Obama gave him a DVD box set. Let's just say the special relationship isn't all it used to be. But then again, there are other comedies in Europe these days ... Berlusconi anyone?

Best romantic drama: Unclear whether this should be a drama or a comedy, but the Russian President Dmitri Medvedev and Prime Minister Vladamir Putin certainly have a relationship worth noting -- as their press photographer has shown time and time again...

Best action: A U.S. ship is seized in the Gulf of Aden and devious pirates take the Maersk Alabama captive on the high seas, demanding a ransom for their deed. But lo and behold! A brave captain sacrifices his freedom to save his crew. And the U.S. whacks three pirates in the end, bringing everyone home safely! Phew!

Best special effects: Hmm, how about that missile launch in North Korea? It hit right on target: the Pacific Ocean.

Best director: Nicolas Sarkozy is a whirling dervish of diplomatic activity.

Best actor: Very few world leaders can also claim their own daily television shows -- and surprisingly humorous ones at that. "Alo Presidente" hasn't exactly skyrocketed Hugo Chavez to fame (his coup attempt back in the 1990s did that), but man has this guy mastered media in the Drudge Era.

Best actress: On a more serious note, few women leaders have been more powerful this year in asserting political freedom than Burma's Aung San Suu Kyi. Or does Hillary Clinton have your vote? As one FP staffer put it, "she's the queen of 'the show must go on.'"

Best supporting actress: Is Carla Bruni the perfect companion for a perfectionist French president?

Best supporting actor: Let's be honest: One man whose entire year has been a story about other people's interests is the ousted president of Honduras, Manuel Zelaya. For all his posturing and pontificating, he was never running the show.

Best costume: Libya's Muammar Qaddafi designs his own clothes.

Worst costume: Libya's Muammar Qaddafi designs his own clothes. You decide.

Lifetime achievement award: Fidel? Kim Jong Il? Mubarak? Most of the longest-lasting players on the world stage aren't particularly savory characters. Got someone better?

We'll post a full list of nominees based on your e-mails and comments on Monday, Feb. 8 and give you a chance to vote. The final winners will be announced at the end of the month. 

We promise to keep the musical numbers short.

I can't really condone SNL's policy of having every sleazy "ethnic" character be played by Fred Armisen in what seems like the same accent, but last Saturday's cold open did a pretty good job of summing up what happens when a country -- in this case Yemen, becomes a "New Front in the War on Terror:"

Robert Haddick also takes up this question in a slightly more sober way in his most recent This Week At War column:

Yemen and its problems are suddenly on everyone's agenda. On Jan. 1, CENTCOM commander Gen. David Petraeus announced a doubling in annual U.S. assistance to the country. On Jan. 28, British Prime Minister Gordon Brown will host an international conference on Yemen, where he will no doubt call for increased international donations. It seems that whenever the international community discovers another al Qaeda franchise, a financial reward to the host seems to follow. Pakistan has perfected how to profit from this perverse incentive. Yemen is now showing itself to be an able student of the same technique.[...]

From Saleh's perspective, he has likely learned from Pakistan how rewarding al Qaeda's presence -- largely benign to him -- can be. The impending deluge of U.S. aid, with Brown's conference to add to the bounty, illustrates the perverse incentives offered to leaders like Saleh.

Over at Mothership Slate, Justin Peters has a clever piece imagining what restaurants based on some of the most popular American magazines and news Websites might look like. For instance,

Esquire: "Choose between Seven Lunches We Love, all of which involve ground beef; the barbecue-sauce sommelier will assist your efforts to build a Best-Dressed Burger."

Huffington Post: "Marvel at the 47-page menu of hot entrees, most of which are sourced from other, better restaurants."

And Slate itself: "The kitchen will occasionally convince you that everything you know about curly fries is wrong."

So naturally, we started thinking about what you would find at a Foreign Policy-run eatery. I imagine that we would take healthy but unexciting ingredients prepared by expert nutritionists from around the world and then arrange them into pretty shapes and cover them with delicious, delicious cheese sauce. The Rising China Souffle, Failed State Stew (just dropped on your table without a bowl) and Putin's Polonium Pelmeni are favorites. Your waiter would also be constantly informing you that the food you really should be eating isn't even on sale in America yet and you've probably never heard of it, but it will be your favorite food next year -- unless it kills you.

What else would you like to see?